She's JV to your varsity
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize