i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
