I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize