her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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