My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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