didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
