Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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