So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
