Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
