I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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