I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
