you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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