Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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