Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize