I'm gonna have a badass scar
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
