I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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