No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
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I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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