But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
