I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I didn't shave. On purpose
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
