If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
