God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
