I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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