I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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