the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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