We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
can u get pink eye on your cock?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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