I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
