i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
