Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
