Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
