me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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