GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They took my balls.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
