I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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