So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
