I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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