You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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