I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
