when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Farmville is her only friend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
