The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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