i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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