Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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