i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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