this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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