If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
