It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
