K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
