Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
