brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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