she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
