i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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