Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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