Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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