You're my little dorito
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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