you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
