these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
