Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
