I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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