Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
