i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize