I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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