covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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