I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
