you mean i was at the winter classic?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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