I can text with my tongue
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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