I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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