So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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